fallowing the fields

I haven’t been doing much writing-writing lately, like the kind I could submit to magazines and journals. Some of that is because I’m too busy trying to vibrate out of my skin and into outer space from anxiety; some of that is because I’m not sure what I want to be writing about.

I started writing poetry out of a need to exorcise some feelings about stuff going on with my family and found it to be something that I was decent at. I’ve read a lot of poetry in the last few weeks, though, while we’ve been camped out in my wife’s parents’ house, and I at least have some ideas of… aspirations, I guess? I think I am less interested in making the everyday epic and fantastic and affirming and more in the slow consideration of observations or memories.

Maybe I should just start keeping a journal of things I see or feel or remember that stand out?

misc. rpg bits and bobs

a friend was recently reading through the Urban Shadows book, and apparently it suggests the GM write a letter to set up the campaign to each player, setting up expectations and the character’s place in the world and giving them some starting rolls to set up plot hooks and—I love it?

Also—an online game I’m part of that runs on Dreamwidth collects “fanmail” monthly that anyone can submit to as if they’re part of the fandom for the awful reality show that is the framing for the game, and it’s honestly such a good bonding experience, I think? And then all the characters receive it IC and can react to it. I don’t think it would work exactly as-is for a lot of games, but I like the idea of sort of having a platform for memeing at each other and legit being fans of the characters in a game you’re playing in.

can tell the hair stuff i bought is working because suddenly my hair is a wavy puff again, lmao. i’m not sure people appreciate the degree to which my hair has VOLUME because it’s been bleached to shit for most of the last couple years. I was growing my undercut out but maybe i’ll have them re-do it because my hair is so much

that feel when

a part of you is convinced, convinced that you could make a situation better via meddling, except you’re vaguely sure that’s not very healthy for anyone and that maybe you should just let it go wherever it’s going to go, except also being adjacent to it is causing you to lose your own fucking mind

why can’t the life lessons i’m supposed to learn from a situation be clear-cut like they are in my animes, etc. or I guess have life lessons at all.

bought myself an expensive-ass shampoo/conditioner/hair mask set from an internet company that promises a customized formula for your hair needs + location~ let’s see if this works

tfw you accidentally callout post yourself by creating an rpg character not once but TWICE who has firstly an overbearing parent with strong expectations for how she’s going to live her life and secondly an unhealthy inability to have strong opinions

@ me next time!!!